


The Burden of a name

by hadrianmccaine



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Fire Lord Zuko, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, Iroh as a mentor, Mai is distant, Siblings Don't Get Along, Zuko is a father, Zuko looks back at his son's life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-25 22:59:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18172571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hadrianmccaine/pseuds/hadrianmccaine
Summary: It is tradition in the Firenation that the first name spoken to a newborn by it's father is it’s true name, that cannot be changed. As Firelord Zuko holds his second child, a son, a mere minutes after he was born he cannot help himself but to think back to his grandfather and sister and before he can stop himself he mutters one word: Azulon. Many years later he still looks back at this very moment and asks himself if his sons life would have been different if he had said another name.





	The Burden of a name

„Make way! Move!“ Firelord Zuko ran through the halls of the palace, while the servants jumped out of the way. The firelord did not notice any of that. As soon as he was told that Mai was in labour he left the council and ran to her. Entering the room he was met with heat that felt like a slap in the face and air thick enough to cut. The smell of sweat and lavender was in the air.  
Mai laid on the bed and just motioned him to come, not able to get a word out between the contractions. Zuko rushed to her side and took her hand, but winced a second later as her death grip fastened around his hand.   
Many hours later not only Zuko was relieved as he heard the first scream of the baby. Mai slumped back in the many pillows that were brought to her, while the midwife happily exclaimed: „It’s a boy, my lord.“   
Carefully the boy was put on Mai’s chest, still coated in blood and other things Zuko didn’t really want to think about.   
Several hours later both Mai and the baby were cleaned and fed. The boy slept in his crib beside their bed they both sat on. Zuko could not hide his anxiety. He knew the first name he would speak while holding the boy would be the name he had for the rest of his life. They discussed it during the whole pregnancy, picked out girl names and boy names but Zuko doubted their choice in this moment, as he did with Izumi, which is why their daughter had gotten a more than questionable second name, because his mouth was so much faster than his brain at this moment.  
Mai had told him over and over again, that she would not tolerate another slip up like that. He needed to think before he talked and stop after the name they agreed on. He promised again and again, that this time he would not slip up.   
Finally after another hour of worrying Zuko finally stood up and took the boy out of his crib. The boy slept tightly as Zuko settled him into his arms. He had a little fluff of black hair on the top of his head and his eyes were as gold as Zukos own, as the firelord saw earlier.  
The firelord could not help himself but to hesitate. It was something special to hold his own child after waiting for months. Zuko found himself thinking about his own childhood and what happy memories he still to this day holds dear. There were some, not many but he knew he would do better. He was lucky to now have to beautiful children and a beautiful wife.  
My father says she was born lucky, he says I was lucky to be born.  
Zuko sighed. It was a long time ago since he told Aang that. Luck was something so weird. He always thought all that things happened to him because he was just not lucky. Or at least not as lucky as Azula.   
Zuko sighed again. He went to look out the window with the boy in his arms. He visited Azula occasionally when he felt a little bit sentimental. Usually this feeling stopped only minutes after being with her, but he still talked to her. He told her about his daughter and his second child and other harmless things. She laughed at him when he had told her, that he wished for a boy.   
„They’ll be just like us.“ She said and laughed. „Only this time the girl will be the true heir from the beginning. Like it should have been with us. Don’t you think, Zuzu, that even grandfather would’ve wanted me on the throne and not such a wimp like you?“   
That day he left quickly, but her words still echoed in his ears. He guessed Azula was right. His grandfather would have chosen her over him. As did his father. Azulon maybe wasn’t as bad as Zukos father, but he still was Ozais father and he did a terrible job at it. How he managed to raise Iroh as well, Zuko would never know.   
Lost in this thoughts, Zuko looked down again. He hesitated a second and heard himself say the one name, that haunted him for days.  
„Azulon.“   
It only took Zuko two more seconds to realize what he had just done. At the same time as the realization hit him, he heard a weird sound from behind him and whirled around. The maids were whispering in the corner, where they stood and watched. Mai stared at him in utter diebelieve, with tears in her eyes and she started sobbing, while she screamed at him.  
„How – how could you do that?“   
Zuko didn’t know the answer, he opened his mouth to defend himself or just to say anything, but before he could, Mai continued.  
„After everything she did to me- she did to us!“  
„Mai, I-i.“ Zuku didn’t know how to respond. She was right after all.   
„Go-„ she finally sobbed and Zuko did so without further asking. He put the boy back in the crib and went out of the room and locked himself in his study.

**Author's Note:**

> So hi!  
> This is my first story and honestly haven't planned much, it's just an idea I want to try. I hope you liked the first chapter.


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